Well, the job firing is not over.  Evidently, the ten minute meeting we had yesterday was to review the “pre” firing letter.  I was e-mailed a copy of the letter on Friday and basically it was correct.  It stated I was being fired for medical reasons and not for any misbehavior. 

When Hubby-honey and I arrived for the meeting, the Human Resource woman asked me if I read it and I said, “Yes.”  When she asked me if I had any questions, I asked her if my employer would fight my getting unemployment.  She spent five minutes not answering my question.  It was actually fascinating.  This woman should absolutely go into politics because she was a pro at talking on and on and on and saying absolutely nothing. 

I lost it, of course.  The Union Rep was amazing and very nice; my poor boss just looked confused by the whole thing and my emotional outburst.  After I did the drama queen bit and left the room, the Union Rep followed us out and he told Hubby-honey and I the Union was going to continue to do what they could for me.  I very much appreciate their efforts more than they can possibly know but I don’t really think it’s going to help.  He also told us they have about two weeks before the whole thing will be final. 

I guess the final hurt is being shut out by the people I had worked with and had considered my friends.  I know they sympathize with my problems but in the end they have to protect their jobs as well so I need to let them go with love, which seems to be easier said than done.  I’m working on it.

Giz watching Baby trying to corner the laser light

Well, once again, I’m not talking about my dearest little girls and they’ve actually been doing pretty good the last couple of days. 

Well, this morning wasn’t actually all that great; we had a bit of a confrontration.  I was drying my hair after showering and I noticed Baby was playing in the closet.  She started to go out the door but through the crack between the door and the jam, she spotted the Giz walking down the hall.  Giz stopped in the hall and at first she was just looking at me but then she saw Baby through the same crack.  Baby peeked around the door end and Giz ran in to the bathroom.  They looked at each other for a couple of seconds, batted at each other, hissed and ran in opposite directions.  It appears to be mostly a lot of posturing.  If they had really wanted to attack each other I wasn’t close enough to stop them.

Giz has Baby cornered in the kichen

Most of the time, they seem to be accepting each other’s presence.  Baby can now walk by Giz’s table without getting hissed at – I haven’t seen it anyway.  Unfortunately, Giz does seem to still do the stalking thing once in a while.  She stares ominously at Baby and then corner’s Baby by sitting in the exit.  One night, I caught Giz in the kitchen just sitting there and staring in the entrance way door which ultimately leads into the laundry room.  I found Baby sleeping in back of some old computers in the back bathroom.  Since then, if I catch Giz doing the cornering thing, I move her along and I ensure Baby can get to where she needs to go.  I haven’t noticed it too much in the last couple of days so I have to wonder once again it my stress level may have something to do with it.  Obviously, over the weekend, I was pretty stressed.  Now I’m not so much.  I’m more accepting of the fact I can’t do much to change the job situation.  It is what it is and I can’t change it.

Giz with the new squeeky mouse

At times, I have noticed other improvements in their attitudes towards each other.  Two nights ago, Baby was up on the back of the office chair I have in the kitchen to sit in while I’m cooking and Giz jumped up on the seat.  Nobody made any noise, which really surprised me.  By the looks on their faces, it surprised them as well but I took it as a plus they didn’t hiss and/or slap.

Mostly, I think they’re just like kids.  With children, many times it’s best to stay out of it and they will deal with any problems in their own way.   Of course, with the threat of physical violence, all bets are off and the adult human person must butt in the stop the altercation.  Fortunately, interference hasn’t been necessary very often.

Baby and Hubby-honey

Baby is still very much a Hubby-honey fan and I was finally able to get a picture of them together.   I also have a two or three pictures of my girls playing.  Baby is so funny with the laser light.  She is absolutely determined to take it down and after Hubby-honey shuts it down for the night, she still spends a good fifteen minute looking for it.  I think she finally understands he’s the creator of the light.  Now when she can’t find it she comes down the hall looking at him.  Giz is a little less energetic; I think she’s feeling her eleven years.  She looks at the light but doesn’t seem to be able to garner the energy to chase it.  She does follow it with her eyes.  I was hoping the liking for the light would make them bury the hatchet in favor of going on the chase but so far, no dice.

At any rate, I think we’re making progress.  It’s been really, really slow but my girls seem to be a little more accepting of each other than they were two weeks ago.  Here’s hoping we don’t have too many more stalking and slapping incidents.

It’s been a week since I started this blog post.  I have allowed other stuff to interfere with what will, in future, be more a part of my life than my about-to-be job firing.  Soon, the experience of being fired for medical reasons will be a not-great memory but still a memory.  After all, the very real truth is all we have is “now”, the current meeting as we live it.  Everything else, including the beginning words of this blog, is in the past.  While the words can be changed,  the past is writ large in permanent ink. 

What’s very exciting to me is we can change the “future” by what we do in the now.  Thus, I’m going to be spending a great deal of time this weekend writing the future I want and the steps I need to take in the “now” to achieve that future.  Of course, the future is just a breath away.  Isn’t that really exciting?  

Baby Staring at Gizmo

What does this have to do with my darling girls?  Not much (smile).   Believe me, these ladies have made it a VERY interesting week and I became convinced my moods were a good part of what was causing them to act out in various odd ways. 

Remember when I said my two kitties seemed to be more verbal than physical.  Well, Giz made me eat those words – at least somewhat. 

Last Saturday was relatively quiet.  My girls were really quiet too.  Hubby- honey had Army National Guard but because he’d had range qualifying one day of the last week, he only had to do Saturday.  Originally, he’d planned on going fishing on Sunday but our finances were tight and fishing trips were not to be kindly tolerated by our penurious accountant.  Although we knew the check was coming the next Thursday and it absolutely would be in the bank account, just knowing we were broke and couldn’t afford even the most basic needs was, in and of itself, stressful.

Sunday things were not quite so tranquil with the girls and I may have been the reason.  Because of the financial situation, Hubby-honey and I were tense; not with each other (thank God) but with the situation in general.  I was the most tense as it’s my assigned task to do the bills and organize our financial situation, when we have the money to accomplish anything at all.  I’ve also been feeling a lot of guilt because I had a lot of operations last year and I’m not going to be able to return to work full time; thus, I’m going to be fired next Monday or there abouts.  In this economy, it’s not a good situation for the continued health of our finances.  I’m absolutely certain the girls felt all this tension. 

Gizmo Staring at Baby

Giz started to actually stalk Baby.  I couldn’t believe it.  She had NEVER behaved like this before.  If Baby was just sitting on the couch or on her favorite little carpet, Giz would try to sneak up on her and start chasing her around.  I think if I hadn’t been there, Giz would have really physically attacked Baby.  For her part, I didn’t see Baby do anything except try to avoid Giz.  It went on ALL day.  Finally, we went bed and you’d have thought nothing at all untoward had happened.  Giz went to sleep up by my bed and Baby down by my knees – easy breezy. 

On Monday, they weren’t exactly friends but they weren’t on each other either, thank goodness. In the late afternoon, Giz was sleeping on a big pillow on our bed and Baby was snoozing as near Hubby-honey as she could get.  As you’ll recall, she believes he is the equivalent of Elvis Presley and Robert Pattinson rolled into one.  I love the way she looks at him.  It’s really funny to see that much total adoration in a cat’s face.  Baby is also very interested in football, which is Hubby-honey’s favoritest past time – duh.  We have a very LARGE 42 inch TV and she sits in front of it on her little carpet and watches the action as the players run back and forth on the screen; it’s a riot.

All week, we’ve been going back and forth with Giz doing the stalking thing at various times during the day.  I am sure it’s because of my emotional upheaval.  During those times when I’m relatively calm and not stressing on what’s going to happen tomorrow, Giz and Baby pretty much leave each other alone.  When the whole job situation gets the best of me and I start the weeps, my girls start to get testy with each other. 

Last night, I noted this and made an extra effort to be reassuring to both of them but most especially to Gizmo.  We had pork chops for dinner (one of Giz’s favorites), and I sat her next to me on the couch.  (We eat in front of the television with TV trays.)  Just before dinner (Hubby-honey cooking, bless him), I picked her up and held her against my chest.  I told her I desperately needed her specific kitty-hugs and she condescendingly complied with my wishes (smile).    I told her if she was a good girl, I’d give her some of my pork chop and again she complied.  She continued to sit quietly until I finished.  With her sensitive tummy, she needs to have her food in very small pieces.  I put the remainder of my pork chop in the blender and she literally scarffed it down in about twenty minutes.  Since the remainder of the evening was pretty quiet, I took it as confirmation that my stress level had a strong effect on my girls.

Baby Sleeping on the Blanket on the Couch

As the remainder of the week played out, I’ve had more periods of acceptance than of stress.  Usually, the stress has peaked when I had problems getting people on the phone and all that.  Currently, we’re having a meeting on Monday to do what we know they’re going to do – fire me, but evidently unless I go through the agony in front of everybody I work for it doesn’t count.  So, Hubby-honey is going to go with me to the meeting so while I may have a total meltdown, at least he’ll be there to help me get home. 

Bless his heart, I’m ruining a day off for him and he’s still willing to go through all this with me.  He is a Federal employee and he has Monday off as Columbus Day.  I’m sure you can appreciate that he had much better things he’d rather do than hold my hand while I’m losing a job I really love.  Well, there you have it.  At this point, we don’t have any control over what they are going to do.  No matter what I do, it won’t change what they are determined to do.  I must accept my future without this job and open my heart and mind to accept something even better.

My girls are doing pretty well.  I’ve noticed they have a new thing with each other.  When we first let Baby in the house, Baby and Gizmo moved around each other very, very slowly.  Now, they’ve taken to moving around each other pretty fast.  If Giz moves quickly past Baby, Baby will snarl and assume the hissing, paw out and crouching pose.  If Baby runs past Giz, Giz will crouch low and chase Baby into the next room.  Occasionally, they actually will slap at each other but they’ve never actually come to blows.  It’s still mostly a lot of noise. 

Giz Sleeping On Our Bed

Some good changes have taken place.  If Giz is up on her table eating, Baby can usually get by her without so much as a second glance.  Last weekend, we went grocery shopping and left both cats in the house with no human supervision.  Everybody was in good form when we got home. 

I really wish they’d be friends.  I’d like to see them share the bed with me.  Right now, if Giz is sleeping on the bed, Baby hangs out in the guest room or on the couch.  Most days it’s fairly sunny by 10:00 so I can let Baby go out until about 5:00 in the evening.  I want her to enjoy the outdoors as much as she can while she can.  By next month, we won’t be getting much in the way of sunshine and Baby will be stuck in the house until May.  I don’t think she’s going to take it well.

I’m happy most of the hissing seems to be gone.  It’s interesting that they are sitting closer when they are in the same room.  It used to be about five feet apart and now they sit about two feet apart and do the staring thing.  Also, when Hubby-honey plays with the laser light, Giz now joins in.  They still play separately.  Giz chases the light in the living room and Baby goes up the hall. 

Hopefully, friendship is in there somewhere.