Baby has to spend the weekend with our vet, hurt my heart so very, very much. 

As you know, when we got Baby, she had the world’s worst case of gingivitis.  Even after the vet had cleaned her teeth and scraped her gums. (Bllllrrrrrr), she spent another month getting antibiotics and shots of prednisone to reduce the inflammation.  In August, she finally started to show some improvement and in September, her gums and teeth were finally healed.  Unfortunately, every time we started to take her off the antibiotics, she started vomiting, which is why I took her to see the vet today.

Vet's office

I explained to him that my job is going to disappear forever in a couple of weeks and as reasonable as he is, I was not going to be able to bring either Baby or Giz back in the foreseeable future unless he was willing to let me clean out the horses stalls or sweep and mop his office.  He laughed and patted my hand – comforting but hardly a solution for poor Baby’s problems. 

While he was looking her over, I explained that about her situation.  I told him that if I forgot to give her a dose or if she started to get diarrhea and I decided to stop giving her the antibiotics for a couple of days (his suggestion), she would vomit.  He asked what she threw up (double bluck).  I told him it was always undigested food, which is why I knew which cat had the problem.  (The girls like different kinds of food and they are easily distinguishable if you’re unlucky enough to see them again.)  I announced with some pride that she only liked Fancy Feast Yellowfin Tuna with Delicate Sauces.  He said he wanted to keep Baby for a few days.  He told the assistant he wanted her fed anything but fish.  He didn’t want her to have any form of fish or anything with fish in it.  He suspects she has a food allergy to fish.  At first it didn’t make any sense but as I was driving home thinking about her eating habits, I thought he might be right.  Maybe the antibiotics make the fish tolerable for some reason but when she didn’t have them, the allergy took over.

The vet is so wonderful and understanding, he’s not going to charge us anything for housing her over the weekend.  Of course, if he has to do any tests or x-rays, he’ll have to charge us for that but nothing for food or observation.  I can’t begin to express my gratitude to this marvelous human being.  Still, it was horrible to leave her there for three days.  As soon as she was out of sight, I started crying.  I cried all the way to the car and half the way home.   I called Hubby-honey and told him his best-bud was going to be staying with the vet.  He loves having her spend the night on his chest.  I know he’s bummed about it but he thinks she’ll have a short memory about the whole thing.  I hope he’s right.

Baby a the Vet

What broke my heart was that I knew it’s taken a long time for Baby to trust us.  Now, she’s going to be spending three days cooped up in a cage with strange cats around her and strange people handling her.  I pray she still trusts us when I pick her up.  I miss her too.  You know what, Giz would rather go bald tonight than admit it but I think she misses Baby as well.  She’s been sitting in the window all afternoon, looking at the place under the bush where Baby usually sleeps.

Hubby-honey and I know it’s for the best especially if the vet can find out what’s causing her to have problems so she can live her wonderful life in peace, but we miss our little girl.  Such a tiny little beast and yet she’s found her way firmly into our hearts forever.

Bush outside our window being buffeted by the wind.

It’s really cold today and very windy with an occasional rainy moment.  If you can believe it, they had snow yesterday in The Gorge.  They always have wind and their winters are usually very harsh at various times during the winter months.  It looks like they’re in for it this winter.  (”Yeah, really – all that climate change stuff is just balderdash.  Why would any sane person believe the Earth is having manmade PMS problems?” she said sarcastically.)  Today, my girls and I are just lounging.  I can’t seem to dredge up the energy to do much of anything and believe me, I have plenty to do; it just doesn’t seem doable at this moment.

The same bush covered with ice and snow last winter.

As I said, the girls are sleeping.  They still haven’t figured out they can sleep together on the bed and not have the world end.  Giz is sleeping next to me on the big pillow.  The physical therapist recommended I get one of those large body pillows to hold between my ankles and knees which will align the vertebrae in my lower back and is still large enough to hug.  I got it last summer and found out immediately it holds in the body heat.  I would wake up sweating every night I used it.  I stopped using it but we think that “holding the body heat in” is why both my girls really like it so I have willed it to them with many happy thoughts.  I have gone back to using two small pillows – one for the ankles; one for the knees, which works much better for me even though it’s much cooler now.

Baby on the back of couch watching me take her picture (10/14/09)

Baby is sleeping on the top of the couch.  I’m very concerned about our Baby girl.  She vomited twice this morning.  I’m also going through huge amounts of “kick my own backside” guilt.  I failed to give her the antibiotics last night.  Well, she got it first thing this morning and I’ve got my fingers crossed.  So far, she has eaten a little after the antibiotics and she hasn’t vomited again.  I have an appointment for her tomorrow at 10:00, sigh.  I’m going to have to have a long earnest talk with the vet.  We MUST find out what her problem is and hopefully get it fixed or at least what we’re going to have to continuously administer to keep her body happy. With my job all but gone, unless the vet lets me work off his fees by doing office work, we can’t afford to continue his very wonderful services even if he is the least expensive vet I’ve ever been to and he’s also the best.  His being the very best is what will save Baby’s poor gums and tummy but we need to get to it.

As I mentioned before, Giz has to have her Tagamet administered twice a day.  I’ve found out she’s more accepting if I dissolve the pills in chicken broth.  Neither of the cats like having their medicines administered and they run from me when they know it’s time and I have that “look” in my eyes.  I’ve taken to sneaking up on them which I really hate but not as much as I hate the guilt of not administering said-same medicine and having them suffer for my totally bad-owner behavior.  They are my very special darlings and I need to take care of them.

Giz Sleeping on a windy fall day (10/14/09)

Baby wants to go out but with the weather being dicey and her stomach even more so, I want to keep an eye on her and ensure she’s able to keep her food down.  She acts like she feels well and she really hates being in the house all day but I think she’s going to have to resolve herself to some days inside now that the weather looks like it’s getting serious about heading towards winter. 

I miss the fall season.  It’s always way too short for me.  I need it to last at least six months.  Six months of crispy apples and fall vegetables to make yummy  stick-to-your-ribs stews to keep the cold at bay.  Well, we know how us humans are – six months of fall would probably get boring after all (smile).

Well that was interesting:  Baby jumped up on the bed and Giz didn’t even wake up.  Baby was going to jump up in the window but decided since I was getting up anyway, I could feed her, which I did.  When I came back to the bed, Baby jumped up on the bed and Giz did wake up but didn’t make ANY noise at all .  Wow!!  Baby jumped up on the window sill, down on the floor and out the door.  Giz watched her all the way but didn’t do anything.  It would be really great if I could have both my girls on the bed while I’m working.

Well, the job firing is not over.  Evidently, the ten minute meeting we had yesterday was to review the “pre” firing letter.  I was e-mailed a copy of the letter on Friday and basically it was correct.  It stated I was being fired for medical reasons and not for any misbehavior. 

When Hubby-honey and I arrived for the meeting, the Human Resource woman asked me if I read it and I said, “Yes.”  When she asked me if I had any questions, I asked her if my employer would fight my getting unemployment.  She spent five minutes not answering my question.  It was actually fascinating.  This woman should absolutely go into politics because she was a pro at talking on and on and on and saying absolutely nothing. 

I lost it, of course.  The Union Rep was amazing and very nice; my poor boss just looked confused by the whole thing and my emotional outburst.  After I did the drama queen bit and left the room, the Union Rep followed us out and he told Hubby-honey and I the Union was going to continue to do what they could for me.  I very much appreciate their efforts more than they can possibly know but I don’t really think it’s going to help.  He also told us they have about two weeks before the whole thing will be final. 

I guess the final hurt is being shut out by the people I had worked with and had considered my friends.  I know they sympathize with my problems but in the end they have to protect their jobs as well so I need to let them go with love, which seems to be easier said than done.  I’m working on it.

Giz watching Baby trying to corner the laser light

Well, once again, I’m not talking about my dearest little girls and they’ve actually been doing pretty good the last couple of days. 

Well, this morning wasn’t actually all that great; we had a bit of a confrontration.  I was drying my hair after showering and I noticed Baby was playing in the closet.  She started to go out the door but through the crack between the door and the jam, she spotted the Giz walking down the hall.  Giz stopped in the hall and at first she was just looking at me but then she saw Baby through the same crack.  Baby peeked around the door end and Giz ran in to the bathroom.  They looked at each other for a couple of seconds, batted at each other, hissed and ran in opposite directions.  It appears to be mostly a lot of posturing.  If they had really wanted to attack each other I wasn’t close enough to stop them.

Giz has Baby cornered in the kichen

Most of the time, they seem to be accepting each other’s presence.  Baby can now walk by Giz’s table without getting hissed at – I haven’t seen it anyway.  Unfortunately, Giz does seem to still do the stalking thing once in a while.  She stares ominously at Baby and then corner’s Baby by sitting in the exit.  One night, I caught Giz in the kitchen just sitting there and staring in the entrance way door which ultimately leads into the laundry room.  I found Baby sleeping in back of some old computers in the back bathroom.  Since then, if I catch Giz doing the cornering thing, I move her along and I ensure Baby can get to where she needs to go.  I haven’t noticed it too much in the last couple of days so I have to wonder once again it my stress level may have something to do with it.  Obviously, over the weekend, I was pretty stressed.  Now I’m not so much.  I’m more accepting of the fact I can’t do much to change the job situation.  It is what it is and I can’t change it.

Giz with the new squeeky mouse

At times, I have noticed other improvements in their attitudes towards each other.  Two nights ago, Baby was up on the back of the office chair I have in the kitchen to sit in while I’m cooking and Giz jumped up on the seat.  Nobody made any noise, which really surprised me.  By the looks on their faces, it surprised them as well but I took it as a plus they didn’t hiss and/or slap.

Mostly, I think they’re just like kids.  With children, many times it’s best to stay out of it and they will deal with any problems in their own way.   Of course, with the threat of physical violence, all bets are off and the adult human person must butt in the stop the altercation.  Fortunately, interference hasn’t been necessary very often.

Baby and Hubby-honey

Baby is still very much a Hubby-honey fan and I was finally able to get a picture of them together.   I also have a two or three pictures of my girls playing.  Baby is so funny with the laser light.  She is absolutely determined to take it down and after Hubby-honey shuts it down for the night, she still spends a good fifteen minute looking for it.  I think she finally understands he’s the creator of the light.  Now when she can’t find it she comes down the hall looking at him.  Giz is a little less energetic; I think she’s feeling her eleven years.  She looks at the light but doesn’t seem to be able to garner the energy to chase it.  She does follow it with her eyes.  I was hoping the liking for the light would make them bury the hatchet in favor of going on the chase but so far, no dice.

At any rate, I think we’re making progress.  It’s been really, really slow but my girls seem to be a little more accepting of each other than they were two weeks ago.  Here’s hoping we don’t have too many more stalking and slapping incidents.

It’s been a week since I started this blog post.  I have allowed other stuff to interfere with what will, in future, be more a part of my life than my about-to-be job firing.  Soon, the experience of being fired for medical reasons will be a not-great memory but still a memory.  After all, the very real truth is all we have is “now”, the current meeting as we live it.  Everything else, including the beginning words of this blog, is in the past.  While the words can be changed,  the past is writ large in permanent ink. 

What’s very exciting to me is we can change the “future” by what we do in the now.  Thus, I’m going to be spending a great deal of time this weekend writing the future I want and the steps I need to take in the “now” to achieve that future.  Of course, the future is just a breath away.  Isn’t that really exciting?  

Baby Staring at Gizmo

What does this have to do with my darling girls?  Not much (smile).   Believe me, these ladies have made it a VERY interesting week and I became convinced my moods were a good part of what was causing them to act out in various odd ways. 

Remember when I said my two kitties seemed to be more verbal than physical.  Well, Giz made me eat those words – at least somewhat. 

Last Saturday was relatively quiet.  My girls were really quiet too.  Hubby- honey had Army National Guard but because he’d had range qualifying one day of the last week, he only had to do Saturday.  Originally, he’d planned on going fishing on Sunday but our finances were tight and fishing trips were not to be kindly tolerated by our penurious accountant.  Although we knew the check was coming the next Thursday and it absolutely would be in the bank account, just knowing we were broke and couldn’t afford even the most basic needs was, in and of itself, stressful.

Sunday things were not quite so tranquil with the girls and I may have been the reason.  Because of the financial situation, Hubby-honey and I were tense; not with each other (thank God) but with the situation in general.  I was the most tense as it’s my assigned task to do the bills and organize our financial situation, when we have the money to accomplish anything at all.  I’ve also been feeling a lot of guilt because I had a lot of operations last year and I’m not going to be able to return to work full time; thus, I’m going to be fired next Monday or there abouts.  In this economy, it’s not a good situation for the continued health of our finances.  I’m absolutely certain the girls felt all this tension. 

Gizmo Staring at Baby

Giz started to actually stalk Baby.  I couldn’t believe it.  She had NEVER behaved like this before.  If Baby was just sitting on the couch or on her favorite little carpet, Giz would try to sneak up on her and start chasing her around.  I think if I hadn’t been there, Giz would have really physically attacked Baby.  For her part, I didn’t see Baby do anything except try to avoid Giz.  It went on ALL day.  Finally, we went bed and you’d have thought nothing at all untoward had happened.  Giz went to sleep up by my bed and Baby down by my knees – easy breezy. 

On Monday, they weren’t exactly friends but they weren’t on each other either, thank goodness. In the late afternoon, Giz was sleeping on a big pillow on our bed and Baby was snoozing as near Hubby-honey as she could get.  As you’ll recall, she believes he is the equivalent of Elvis Presley and Robert Pattinson rolled into one.  I love the way she looks at him.  It’s really funny to see that much total adoration in a cat’s face.  Baby is also very interested in football, which is Hubby-honey’s favoritest past time – duh.  We have a very LARGE 42 inch TV and she sits in front of it on her little carpet and watches the action as the players run back and forth on the screen; it’s a riot.

All week, we’ve been going back and forth with Giz doing the stalking thing at various times during the day.  I am sure it’s because of my emotional upheaval.  During those times when I’m relatively calm and not stressing on what’s going to happen tomorrow, Giz and Baby pretty much leave each other alone.  When the whole job situation gets the best of me and I start the weeps, my girls start to get testy with each other. 

Last night, I noted this and made an extra effort to be reassuring to both of them but most especially to Gizmo.  We had pork chops for dinner (one of Giz’s favorites), and I sat her next to me on the couch.  (We eat in front of the television with TV trays.)  Just before dinner (Hubby-honey cooking, bless him), I picked her up and held her against my chest.  I told her I desperately needed her specific kitty-hugs and she condescendingly complied with my wishes (smile).    I told her if she was a good girl, I’d give her some of my pork chop and again she complied.  She continued to sit quietly until I finished.  With her sensitive tummy, she needs to have her food in very small pieces.  I put the remainder of my pork chop in the blender and she literally scarffed it down in about twenty minutes.  Since the remainder of the evening was pretty quiet, I took it as confirmation that my stress level had a strong effect on my girls.

Baby Sleeping on the Blanket on the Couch

As the remainder of the week played out, I’ve had more periods of acceptance than of stress.  Usually, the stress has peaked when I had problems getting people on the phone and all that.  Currently, we’re having a meeting on Monday to do what we know they’re going to do – fire me, but evidently unless I go through the agony in front of everybody I work for it doesn’t count.  So, Hubby-honey is going to go with me to the meeting so while I may have a total meltdown, at least he’ll be there to help me get home. 

Bless his heart, I’m ruining a day off for him and he’s still willing to go through all this with me.  He is a Federal employee and he has Monday off as Columbus Day.  I’m sure you can appreciate that he had much better things he’d rather do than hold my hand while I’m losing a job I really love.  Well, there you have it.  At this point, we don’t have any control over what they are going to do.  No matter what I do, it won’t change what they are determined to do.  I must accept my future without this job and open my heart and mind to accept something even better.

My girls are doing pretty well.  I’ve noticed they have a new thing with each other.  When we first let Baby in the house, Baby and Gizmo moved around each other very, very slowly.  Now, they’ve taken to moving around each other pretty fast.  If Giz moves quickly past Baby, Baby will snarl and assume the hissing, paw out and crouching pose.  If Baby runs past Giz, Giz will crouch low and chase Baby into the next room.  Occasionally, they actually will slap at each other but they’ve never actually come to blows.  It’s still mostly a lot of noise. 

Giz Sleeping On Our Bed

Some good changes have taken place.  If Giz is up on her table eating, Baby can usually get by her without so much as a second glance.  Last weekend, we went grocery shopping and left both cats in the house with no human supervision.  Everybody was in good form when we got home. 

I really wish they’d be friends.  I’d like to see them share the bed with me.  Right now, if Giz is sleeping on the bed, Baby hangs out in the guest room or on the couch.  Most days it’s fairly sunny by 10:00 so I can let Baby go out until about 5:00 in the evening.  I want her to enjoy the outdoors as much as she can while she can.  By next month, we won’t be getting much in the way of sunshine and Baby will be stuck in the house until May.  I don’t think she’s going to take it well.

I’m happy most of the hissing seems to be gone.  It’s interesting that they are sitting closer when they are in the same room.  It used to be about five feet apart and now they sit about two feet apart and do the staring thing.  Also, when Hubby-honey plays with the laser light, Giz now joins in.  They still play separately.  Giz chases the light in the living room and Baby goes up the hall. 

Hopefully, friendship is in there somewhere.

The last couple of days have been REALLY interesting.  Two days ago, Baby, Gizmo and I were not feeling our best.  I had a sinus infection and my girls were having tummy problems.

Baby playing with the cane

When I took Baby to the vet a couple of weeks ago, he said her teeth and gums looked better than he’d ever seen them.  He really had a point.  When she came to us, her teeth were covered with icky stuff and her gums were bleeding a lot.  Now her teeth are really white, very strong and sharp and the gums have stopped bleeding completely.  She still has some issues though because if she doesn’t have antibiotics for a couple of days, she goes off her feed and starts vomiting.  The one she had been taking for almost a month started giving her loose stools though so the vet changed it to something else. 

I’d had her on the new medication for over a week and it seemed to be fine but then on Wednesday, she started vomiting.  I called the vet and told him I thought she should be back on her old medicine for a while.  He agreed and I’ll take her in around October 15th.  I think he’s going to want to do some additional tests to find out why this continues to happen.  He’s fairly certain it’s some kind of bacteria but he’s not sure what it is or how to treat it.  We’ll get to the bottom of it I’m sure. 

Baby's Pretty Face

Gizmo was also having tummy issues.  I got up in the middle of the night and found a HUGE hairball in the livingroom.  Gizmo’s ulcer needs to have the Tagamet twice a day and not once a day as we were very much hoping.  She was hungry but she just wasn’t keeping it down very well. 

Giz sprawled out on our bed

After a full day of everybody hissing at everybody else, I was starting to lose my patience with both of them.  I was having a roaring sinus infection headache and I was not amused by the continued posturing.  I have to say neither of them really cared whether I was miffed about their constant needling; they just continued with gay abandon.  So far, they haven’t really come to blows.  It’s usually just a lot of hissing from Gizmo in Baby’s direction if Giz thinks Baby is getting a little too close.  However, Baby can give back as good as she gets and sometimes she just goes looking for trouble.  It was a very long day.

By the time we went to bed, they’d both had two doses of medication and were obviously feeling much better, but they weren’t ready for peaceful coexistence just yet.  Hubby-honey and I would just start drifting off to sleep and one of them would do something to set the other one off and somebody would be doing the deep throat growling.  It was a long night.

To my surprise and relief, yesterday wasn’t too bad.  The girls were feeling better and food was staying down pretty good.  I think this helped a lot toward keeping tempers tamped down a bit.  Giz finally got tired of staring at Baby, because Baby had gotten bored with the whole thing and just up and went to sleep.  Giz finally went out on the couch and went to sleep on her blanket. 

I hadn’t been sleeping too well for the past two nights because of my sinus infection with its attendant headache and face pain, but I slept pretty good last night. – until about 3:30 in the morning. 

Giz In Closet

I had just gotten up to use the bathroom and while I was up, I fed the girls because they were both looking expectantly at their feeding bowls. While I’d been feeding the girls, Hubby-honey had gotten up to use the bathroom as well so we were both awake a half an hour later when the thundering herd ran up the hallway, making such a screeching noise as to wake the dead.  With my heart pounding a mile a minute, I ran into the hall to break up the fight but no fight came.  Baby ran to the left into the guest room and hid under the bed.  Gizmo ran to the right into the computer room and that was the end of the argument.

Hubby-honey has to get up to go to work at 4:00 so I don’t think he got back to sleep.  I must have dropped off because I was asleep when he came in to kiss me goodbye and wish me good day. 

Today has been fairly quiet.  It was raining this morning so Baby was in the house until almost 11:00.  When the sun started shining, I let Baby out to catch some rays.  She really hates being cooped up in the house all day. 

I’m beginning to wonder if they don’t get along better when no human is around to pay attention.  Hmmm – definitely a point to ponder.